Like millions of other women out there, I have been blessed with a resting bitch face aka RBF. For those who need an explanation, it’s a female facial expression that is perceived irritated, bitchy or even blank. People and articles love to call it a ‘suffer’, but to me it is the same subject category as all the other political correctness out there. None of us suffer from it, it is who we all are and none of us are obliged to smile like fake Barbies all day either. Although again, I will correct it, and say most of us are not suffering from it (people do surgery to fix their RBF!), the same way as I never suffered from being thin, while many people felt sorry for me telling me to eat while I love to eat more than anything. (somehow it was always acceptable thing to say in comparison to telling an overweight person not to).
How many times have you been told to smile more, as if something was wrong with you and ‘Did your dog die?’ or ‘Are you in for a kill?’ type of questions? Me – many. It is a gender issue, where women seem to have to smile and there is no excuse not to. Just think about how many celebrities (Kerstin, Victoria Beckham, etc) are judged for never smiling in public? Until there is a resting bitch face filter on instagram, you will probably not see much of my smiling selfies, those are super weird. How can you smile alone in a room to a camera?!
It took a bit of time to just realize why this is happening and there is so much behind it, maybe you will realize it yourself. I read an article once describing reasons as to why Russian people don’t smile. It talked about the honesty behind our smiles which pretty much sums up the main reason of my smile muscles resting. I don’t walk around the streets smiling if I am not in the most fantastic mood and I will definitely not smile at people passing by. If I like someone I will smile, if I do not like someone I will not. Pure honesty. I am opinionated, but I never hide it. If I don’t like someone the person will know.
I live by the honestly rules and would love if the world would be a bit more honest and less behind the back stabbing. Obviously there are professional situations where I would be the dumbest ass to act like a mean person, but those people always know that it is just professional and there is just nothing more to it. The same way (but that’s more of an Aquarius thing) I can’t allow people into my life as easy as others, it takes time, but the second the person gets in, it’s forever, because I try to treat my friends with love and care, and will never let any of them go, even if it doesn’t show.
And then it happens that after some time I am called out as a nice person while ‘I thought you are a total bitch’. Obviously the fact that there is no end to my sarcasm is pure fuel on fire and adding my ‘happy’ face to it makes some people think that I am actually nuts and some of my jokes are not even perceived as jokes, as my serious face mismatches the content.
I have lived by life from one long-term relationship to another and kind of learned not to look or smile at men Why? I always had the respect for my piece, plus an inviting smile is never a good idea with a man. You can only blame yourself after. So I have been good at scaring off potential hook ups by having my cold face on even being single, because it is still against me to smile like an idiot when there is absolutely nothing to smile at or about. And how many times have I received the ‘your aura as weirdly cold’ from men. One guy was unable to make a move after 7 dates. Well well…Russian winter, face armour or what.
And then I have those times when I am compared to an independent asshole cat. I’m sure some of you know that feeling. Well if I am a cat, than men are simple Labradors. The truth is I can get extremely shy and uncomfortable in a million of different situations from buying a beer to going on a date, and my hide face is the resting bitch face mask which makes people think I am the most phlegmatic person in the world, while I cry to every sad doggy video and songs. I remember one of my closest friends told me he thought I never cry. Crying myself to sleep is my religion.
Well I have news for the ‘judgie’ ones. We are not suffering and this is who we are and we will stay like this forever and yes we do have feelings. Everyone has a story to her lack of smiles and those stories should be equally respected. Tadam. Oh and we will have less wrinkles and will probably do better in poker.