THE URBAN INTERNET LANGUAGE

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HERE WE ARE LIVING THE ENDING 2013, WATCHING ANCIENT LANGUAGES DISAPPEAR AND WONDERING WHERE THIS INTERNET WORLD WILL TAKE OUR POOR SAD ENGLISH. A FRIEND HAPPENED TO SEND ME A FANTASTIC LINK WITH SOME HILARIOUS NEW WORDS AND PHRASES THAT WERE BORN IN THE PAST YEARS WITH ALL THE SOCIAL NETWORKS, NEW TECHNOLOGIES OUT THERE, THE OVER SHARING, AND JUST SIMPLY THE FACT THAT IT’S 2013. THAT’S WHEN I HAD THE IDEA OF COLLECTING A FEW FROM HERE AND THERE, BECAUSE THESE ARE NOT STUPID AT ALL AND I FOR ONE AM A FAN OF THESE NEW EXPRESSIONS, I EMBRACED AND SPEAK THE 9GAG LANGUAGE AND I FIND THESE ONES QUITE FUNNY AND SOMEHOW USEFUL. AS MUCH AS SOCIETY IS ‘DUMBING’ THE WAY WE CHOOSE TO SPEAK, SOME OF THESE MAKE SUCH PERFECT SENSE AND ARE SO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT, THEY SHOULD NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

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SLIDE TO UNLOCK – A phrase used to describe a girl that is “easy”. They are just like the iPhone, as simple as slide to unlock.

LIKE SHOCK – When one gets many more likes / retweets / favorites on a social networking site than usual.

SEAGULL MANAGEMENT – The seagull manager flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything then flies off again leaving a big mess behind.

PHONE-YAWN – The act of taking out a cell phone from one’s pocket or purse, resulting in other people in the vicinity taking out and checking their phones as well.

GLOATGRAM – an instagram post that features the user boasting about their life, usually in the form of food or leisure/travel.

COFFEE FACE – That ugly ass face people have in the morning before they drink their coffee.

FACEBOOK MINUTE – an elongated and obscure period of time spent distracted on Facebook when the original intent was to merely check your messages.

DREAMATHON – The act of hitting the snooze button over and over again and having a different dream every time you fall asleep.

IFINGER – It’s the finger(s) you purposely keep clean when you eat something messy so you could operate your touchscreen smartphone/tablet / GPS without making the screen look like your plate.

FACEBOOK NECROLOGIST – a person who never misses a chance to post a “R.I.P.” status update in Facebook as soon as any celebrity dies.

SCREEN SAVER – the blank expression that comes across a persons face when day dreaming.

FAPULOUS – really, really hot. orgasmic, amazing, awesome.

TUBECEPTION – The process of (often aimlessly) browsing YouTube videos via the suggested/related videos that are provided on the YouTube sidebar or at the conclusion of a viewed YouTube clip.

WARDROBE CREEP – The gradual yet unstoppable process by which your wife or girlfriend’s clothes take over your wardrobe. It often begins by the male partner naively agreeing that he will temporarily host a single garment because of a short term capacity issue in the female wardrobe. From this point on the male no longer has control of his wardrobe. (AHHAHAHAHA)

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